Here is the rather long winded response to an article my congressman posted on his Facebook page. I think my conservative side has finally reared it's head there. I probably should cross post things here to keep track of my longer comments since the same themes tend to come up repeatedly and searching for sources can be time consuming.
There needs to be a paradigm shift in our society for academic performance to improve. I agree with Brian R in that parental interest and participation in the education and general care of their children is sorely lacking, in part to the pressure to have both parents working to have the income to participate in the our consumer culture. Really, having a parent at home, either full time or through shift work, is a matter of choices and priorities. Many people want the extra things in life over doing the hard work of being the primary guidance and influence on their children, and so pay for substitute caregivers to shoulder that responsibility of instilling values and discipline. My husband was talking about this the other day from a legal perspective. In Louisiana, where the state laws are based on the Napoleonic Code, parents are legally responsible for the actions of their children, whereas in states where the laws are based on English Common Law, it is the child held responsible for any violations of the law. It is our opinion that this cultural difference is partly why a teacher we know had first graders last year that were "stabby" and "biters" that were sent to the principal, if not daily, weekly from her mainstream classroom. The parents did not care and were not held in any way responsible for their child's actions. Even when I was in high school I saw the effects of parents too wrapped up in themselves in their children who were just as self-centered, with no manners and no sense of community or civic responsibility.
This also ties into John's comment about the gadgets and media. It's a parent's place to set limits and enforce standards. However, it's difficult to do that when our children are bombarded with media and advertising everywhere they go. Age compression from using sex to sell to kids is why you can buy thong underwear for your 5 year old in mainstream department stores. Brand loyalty begins before they can read. Just about any child can tell you what restaurant the golden arches belong to, and cartoon characters are used to sell more than toys and videos. Dora the Explorer is an example of a character that is on many products, many that parents would not otherwise buy except for the nag factor from their children. Things like fruit snacks that have no real fruit, cereals filled with sugar and artificial colors and flavors, poorly made clothing and accessories, etc. that would never sell without that brand recognition on the part of children. The books and toys that are sold in connection with the limited world of these cartoons do not foster imaginative play or thought outside that narrow construct. Which also ties into the ban on happy meals in San Fransisco. The influence of the media and advertising on our children's diet and how they learn to eat is enormous. Even my own children will ask to go to a specific restaurant based, not on the food, but on the toys given away in the kid's meals. Even when parents say no, it creates a wedge in the family. No matter how many times I say we choose where to eat based on the food we eat not what toys they are giving away, they still ask because the advertising is so pervasive. More about the negative effects of ads on young children can be found at http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/
Early academics is not the answer either. The push for early reading in particular is to make it easier to quantify what a child has learned, not necessarily to benefit the child. Expecting a child to read in Kindergarten in order to administer a test in the second grade is what we have now. We've already reached the extremes of teaching to the test with only mediocre outcomes. When I was a child, kindergarten was radically different. The only explicit instruction I remember was how to work in groups, how to write our name, and dental health. Everything else was more intuitive and discovery oriented. We learned through doing, not desk work. It wasn't until first grade that we were expected to start reading in the way some children are expected in preschool now. I don't remember homework until the third grade, and kindergartners here and now have it 4 nights a week. Now children are expected to memorize things for a test instead of truly learning. It's no wonder that there is only limited retention of concepts, as they are not truly learned. Here is a good article about some teachers in the UK talking about a later start to formal education with links to other articles within it: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1559237/Does-early-schooling-harm-our-children.html
I don't think private schools are necessarily the answer either. While they can be useful as an alternative to a public school that has failed a child and only wants to pad promotion rates by then placing the child in remedial classes one grade level up, they are not a one size fits all answer to problems in public schools. Part of what makes private schools seem like the answer goes back to the top of my comment with parental involvement. There is only so much any institution can do for a child without an interested and active primary caregiver. The thing I haven't heard the school voucher crowd advocate is homeschooling. While I would probably not consider homeschooling if money were not an impediment to enrollment in certain private schools, it's the only alternative available for our family to the failed public school system. I know that my children are learning at a developmentally appropriate pace, are actually learning not memorizing by rote, and have a much broader experience than their age peers in public school because of the experiences they are able to have not confined to a classroom for 6-8 hours a day.
Societal things like personal responsibility, work ethic, and civic involvement are key things that are going to have to make a comeback before many of our problems, public education included, are going to be truly addressed. The decadence of our "Me First", instant-gratification culture will be our downfall. The things that make society work take hard work, cooperation, and time.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Check Your Sources
I'm sure that I'm not the only one that has a relative or friend that loves to pass on e-mails that they find funny, amusing, or inspiring... Even when they know that the message is at odds with your worldview. My problem isn't with a conflicting opinion, but with misappropriated or incomplete quotes to lend credence to their argument.
At first I would check to see if something that sounded too good to be true was at my favorite net hoax website. If I found the information to be correctly attributed, the facts straight, and timely, I'd either pass it on if I agreed or otherwise delete. This worked pretty well when I could count the actual people that had my email address on two hands many years ago.
As time went on and more people sent me time wasters, desperate pleas, political propaganda, virus warnings, health advisories, and the like. My contacts list grew as the internet did and so did the amount of junk sent from friends and family. I had to change tactics...
So, then I tried e-mailing the sender politely asking them to check the veracity of the dire warnings, get rich quick schemes, cookie recipes, and political junk(ie)-mail. This had varying results. Some people were offended that I checked their messages for veracity and said I was missing the point of the message. Some shrugged and apologized for the oops. Some, I never heard from about their gaff. But, the same types of things kept coming from the same people, mostly one of my best friends, my father, and my step-dad.
These are three men I really admire even though their personal and political views can be on the opposite end of the spectrum. All three are incredibly intelligent people that can carry on a fact-based conversation on issues across the spectrum of issues. The three of them, though, cannot seem to take the time to check their facts when it comes to email. So, I had to resort to more drastic measures.
I started replying to all.
I figured if private reminders to check out what they're putting their name on didn't work, then maybe a more public reminder would not only embarrass them into being more diligent, but let the unsuspecting other people that received the same junk mail know that it was indeed junk with the accompanying references so that they could check it out for themselves.
This has only worked a little bit.
I only get jokes from my friend now unless it's about an actual issue that can be supported with complete facts, not soundbites or select edits of excerpts.
From my father, well, that's a bit more complicated. He no longer emails me at all. About a year ago when the election season was in full swing, he would send out these very angry political e-mails that not only incorrectly attributed statements to political opponents, but blamed them personally for everything wrong with the world with nothing other than his (since he was passing it on) word to support those claims. The hate, racism, and anger were so palpable in these e-mails it made me physically sick to see that my father had sent me an e-mail. I still start to shake when I think of the vitriol in those letters. What made them even worse, many of them had a religious slant that was totally antithetical to the message of Jesus Christ. After a private letter asking him to stop before the election, he did until the election was over.
When I got a letter at Christmas that was full of the same old religio-political hate spew, I used the reply to all. I got a response from my uncle, M, my father's youngest living brother, wanting to be sure that I knew I sent my rant on how unChristian his Christmas message was. My father seemed oblivious to the inappropriate nature of sending a hateful message that had nothing to do with the holiday just because "Jesus is the reason for the season" was the last line and that since I asked him to forgo the political stuff until after the election, he had held up his end of the request. I wished him a happy holiday and he didn't write back.
My step-dad, well, he means well. He just doesn't check the stuff he sends on. None of it is blanantly offensive, unlike the stuff from the man who raised me. Most of it is a little on the jingoistic side of patriotism, but again, nothing terribly out there. He's a conservative leaning moderate, like I consider myself, though we lean different ways on different issues, which is ok. Basically, he's an old Republican that is disgusted at what the Bush Administration did to our country. I even bookmarked the Snopes website on his computer once so he could verify things himself before passsing on the things his friends and other family members send. And he has no shame, so my replies to all are nothing more than a PSA. Now that they have a new computer, perhaps I should go over and bookmark the site again... Though I don't think it will help.
I love political discourse. When I worked, I would listen to the local NPR news station at varrying times of the day 4-5 days a week for a truly fair and ballanced approach to the issues and news of the day without the name calling and the screaming of the AM dial talk/news radio programs. I will sit here at the computer and debate the merits of something I believe in all day long with sources to back up how I came to my conclusion. I loved seeing the long lines last election day even though I had a three year old and a not quite 12 month old with me in off and on rain for a three hour, half mile long trek from the end of the line to the poling booth. It made me a bit sad to see only the poll workers when I went in to vote in the democratic primary recently given the way my poling place voted in the last general election. I live in the Yeates precinct in case you're wondering.
So, I guess to sum up, if you're going to have your say, say it often, say it loug, but get the facts straight.
At first I would check to see if something that sounded too good to be true was at my favorite net hoax website. If I found the information to be correctly attributed, the facts straight, and timely, I'd either pass it on if I agreed or otherwise delete. This worked pretty well when I could count the actual people that had my email address on two hands many years ago.
As time went on and more people sent me time wasters, desperate pleas, political propaganda, virus warnings, health advisories, and the like. My contacts list grew as the internet did and so did the amount of junk sent from friends and family. I had to change tactics...
So, then I tried e-mailing the sender politely asking them to check the veracity of the dire warnings, get rich quick schemes, cookie recipes, and political junk(ie)-mail. This had varying results. Some people were offended that I checked their messages for veracity and said I was missing the point of the message. Some shrugged and apologized for the oops. Some, I never heard from about their gaff. But, the same types of things kept coming from the same people, mostly one of my best friends, my father, and my step-dad.
These are three men I really admire even though their personal and political views can be on the opposite end of the spectrum. All three are incredibly intelligent people that can carry on a fact-based conversation on issues across the spectrum of issues. The three of them, though, cannot seem to take the time to check their facts when it comes to email. So, I had to resort to more drastic measures.
I started replying to all.
I figured if private reminders to check out what they're putting their name on didn't work, then maybe a more public reminder would not only embarrass them into being more diligent, but let the unsuspecting other people that received the same junk mail know that it was indeed junk with the accompanying references so that they could check it out for themselves.
This has only worked a little bit.
I only get jokes from my friend now unless it's about an actual issue that can be supported with complete facts, not soundbites or select edits of excerpts.
From my father, well, that's a bit more complicated. He no longer emails me at all. About a year ago when the election season was in full swing, he would send out these very angry political e-mails that not only incorrectly attributed statements to political opponents, but blamed them personally for everything wrong with the world with nothing other than his (since he was passing it on) word to support those claims. The hate, racism, and anger were so palpable in these e-mails it made me physically sick to see that my father had sent me an e-mail. I still start to shake when I think of the vitriol in those letters. What made them even worse, many of them had a religious slant that was totally antithetical to the message of Jesus Christ. After a private letter asking him to stop before the election, he did until the election was over.
When I got a letter at Christmas that was full of the same old religio-political hate spew, I used the reply to all. I got a response from my uncle, M, my father's youngest living brother, wanting to be sure that I knew I sent my rant on how unChristian his Christmas message was. My father seemed oblivious to the inappropriate nature of sending a hateful message that had nothing to do with the holiday just because "Jesus is the reason for the season" was the last line and that since I asked him to forgo the political stuff until after the election, he had held up his end of the request. I wished him a happy holiday and he didn't write back.
My step-dad, well, he means well. He just doesn't check the stuff he sends on. None of it is blanantly offensive, unlike the stuff from the man who raised me. Most of it is a little on the jingoistic side of patriotism, but again, nothing terribly out there. He's a conservative leaning moderate, like I consider myself, though we lean different ways on different issues, which is ok. Basically, he's an old Republican that is disgusted at what the Bush Administration did to our country. I even bookmarked the Snopes website on his computer once so he could verify things himself before passsing on the things his friends and other family members send. And he has no shame, so my replies to all are nothing more than a PSA. Now that they have a new computer, perhaps I should go over and bookmark the site again... Though I don't think it will help.
I love political discourse. When I worked, I would listen to the local NPR news station at varrying times of the day 4-5 days a week for a truly fair and ballanced approach to the issues and news of the day without the name calling and the screaming of the AM dial talk/news radio programs. I will sit here at the computer and debate the merits of something I believe in all day long with sources to back up how I came to my conclusion. I loved seeing the long lines last election day even though I had a three year old and a not quite 12 month old with me in off and on rain for a three hour, half mile long trek from the end of the line to the poling booth. It made me a bit sad to see only the poll workers when I went in to vote in the democratic primary recently given the way my poling place voted in the last general election. I live in the Yeates precinct in case you're wondering.
So, I guess to sum up, if you're going to have your say, say it often, say it loug, but get the facts straight.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I love my family doc
I take my family to see a family practice doctor because I've found that whatever I get, they get too and vice versa, so why not just get it over in one visit for those times when we MUST see someone. I found someone that wouldn't give me grief about my decision not to continue to vaccinate my kids or myself that actually listened to my reasons why, an alarming reaction in my youngest for one of many, that also treated me like someone capable of critical thought, understanding what is going on with my body, and as a partner in health.
The other doc in her practice shouldn't be allowed to treat a goldfish. We saw him for a sick visit when my older daughter had a strange rash on her face and had been acting cranky for over a week with no other symptoms. Instead of using common sense and just telling me it was something relatively benign (Fifth's Disease which wasn't even his dx because she didn't have a fever) he starts lecturing me about how I needed to be sure my kids were vaccinated and that chicken pox could kill my (otherwise healthy) children and was quite adamant at all but shouting me down about it.
So I spent about a month and a half stewing about this jerk. Should I call? Should I write? Should I just find someone else to take my family to? Well, I was in the middle of looking for someone else to take everyone to. The DO down the street was not accepting new patients and was so booked that existing patients had a 2 month wait for routine visits. I was unhappy with the responses I got from the other practices I called to inquire about as they were either so big and busy that I was on hold forever just to ask if they were accepting new patients, they had a strict vax policy, explicitly didn't support VBACs even when attended by an OB, or didn't see children. Then I had this mystery headache. I went from feeling great to clutching my head and bawling. So, when my doc called me back, I told her about how my daughter and I were treated the last time we were seen. Including that I did more in depth research into why certain cases resulted in death since when I had the pox as a kid it was no big deal.
This is why I love my doc. She not only reassured me about my mystery headache and had a course of action if it comes back based on my family history, but agreed with me about chicken pox being a benign self limiting illness and that the vax was not necessary for otherwise healthy children such as mine, that she had the chicken pox too as a kid too, and was confident that if my kids did get pox that I wouldn't be doing anything to put them in one of the risk categories for death. She apologized for the treatment we got and told me that I could specifically request her anytime we had a sick call, but that we might have to wait a while if she was not on for sick visit appointments that day.
I just wish that some of the specialists she refers to were of the same mind in how they treat their patients. One told me that all newborns should be fed hydrolyzed formula over breastmilk to avoid common food allergies as I sat there breastfeeding my cranky eczema covered 14 month old, another didn't have time to finish the procedure I came in for "because I have other patients", but the third, for my foot has been great (but the last one was my suggestion)!
Dr. W, you're tops!
The other doc in her practice shouldn't be allowed to treat a goldfish. We saw him for a sick visit when my older daughter had a strange rash on her face and had been acting cranky for over a week with no other symptoms. Instead of using common sense and just telling me it was something relatively benign (Fifth's Disease which wasn't even his dx because she didn't have a fever) he starts lecturing me about how I needed to be sure my kids were vaccinated and that chicken pox could kill my (otherwise healthy) children and was quite adamant at all but shouting me down about it.
So I spent about a month and a half stewing about this jerk. Should I call? Should I write? Should I just find someone else to take my family to? Well, I was in the middle of looking for someone else to take everyone to. The DO down the street was not accepting new patients and was so booked that existing patients had a 2 month wait for routine visits. I was unhappy with the responses I got from the other practices I called to inquire about as they were either so big and busy that I was on hold forever just to ask if they were accepting new patients, they had a strict vax policy, explicitly didn't support VBACs even when attended by an OB, or didn't see children. Then I had this mystery headache. I went from feeling great to clutching my head and bawling. So, when my doc called me back, I told her about how my daughter and I were treated the last time we were seen. Including that I did more in depth research into why certain cases resulted in death since when I had the pox as a kid it was no big deal.
This is why I love my doc. She not only reassured me about my mystery headache and had a course of action if it comes back based on my family history, but agreed with me about chicken pox being a benign self limiting illness and that the vax was not necessary for otherwise healthy children such as mine, that she had the chicken pox too as a kid too, and was confident that if my kids did get pox that I wouldn't be doing anything to put them in one of the risk categories for death. She apologized for the treatment we got and told me that I could specifically request her anytime we had a sick call, but that we might have to wait a while if she was not on for sick visit appointments that day.
I just wish that some of the specialists she refers to were of the same mind in how they treat their patients. One told me that all newborns should be fed hydrolyzed formula over breastmilk to avoid common food allergies as I sat there breastfeeding my cranky eczema covered 14 month old, another didn't have time to finish the procedure I came in for "because I have other patients", but the third, for my foot has been great (but the last one was my suggestion)!
Dr. W, you're tops!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
A Message on Hate Crimes
I've heard a bit about hate crimes legislation in Congress and here's what I have to say to those who think that it's not necessary to have "special classes" of people protected and that it violates the concept of equal protection.
What makes a hate crime a hate crime is not that it is assault or murder against a person of a "special class". It is that the crime was committed in order to harass or intimidate members of that "special class" as a whole including the individual victim because of that which makes them different.
It would be one thing if the victim of the crime just happened to be [insert special class here] and the motive for assault or murder were say, financial (mugging), road rage (guy/gal cut you off in traffic), perceived assault (drunk in a bar and someone bumped into you on their way past), etc.
It's quite another thing to actively seek out someone who is of a racial minority or different gender, different sexual orientation, etc (or thier friends and family) to send a political or social message to the larger community that "those" people or their affiliates are not welcome or acceptable in your community.
It's not about protecting individuals or even these "special classes" but protecting the community at large from harassment and intimidation. When you put it in terms of protecting entire communities or our society as a whole from the threat of harassment or intimidation, I don't see how much more equal a protection you could imagine.
As the supportive and accepting sister of an openly gay man, I feel this is important. There may be times my brother irritates the snot out of me and I can see where someone might want to deck him at times, but that has nothing to do with who he is attracted to. Heck, sometimes I wonder if I might be attacked for hanging out with some of my GLBT friends simply because someone with an agenda might think I'm either Lesbian or was born male and had a fantastic plastic surgeon. (on second thought, nobody is going to mistake me for anything but female...) In any case, I shouldn't have to worry about these things in a polite and free society. If your religious beliefs are such that anything other than a man and a woman having sex within the sacrament of holy matrimony is anathema to you, then please, by all means, practice that, but leave others to their own free will. And if you're going to be so stringent on one aspect of your faith, I challenge you to be as strict about all the rest of it. Are you? I doubt it. Consider that the next time you're oggling a bikini clad woman on the beach or at the car/gun/boat show with or without your wife present, "Gentlemen".
What makes a hate crime a hate crime is not that it is assault or murder against a person of a "special class". It is that the crime was committed in order to harass or intimidate members of that "special class" as a whole including the individual victim because of that which makes them different.
It would be one thing if the victim of the crime just happened to be [insert special class here] and the motive for assault or murder were say, financial (mugging), road rage (guy/gal cut you off in traffic), perceived assault (drunk in a bar and someone bumped into you on their way past), etc.
It's quite another thing to actively seek out someone who is of a racial minority or different gender, different sexual orientation, etc (or thier friends and family) to send a political or social message to the larger community that "those" people or their affiliates are not welcome or acceptable in your community.
It's not about protecting individuals or even these "special classes" but protecting the community at large from harassment and intimidation. When you put it in terms of protecting entire communities or our society as a whole from the threat of harassment or intimidation, I don't see how much more equal a protection you could imagine.
As the supportive and accepting sister of an openly gay man, I feel this is important. There may be times my brother irritates the snot out of me and I can see where someone might want to deck him at times, but that has nothing to do with who he is attracted to. Heck, sometimes I wonder if I might be attacked for hanging out with some of my GLBT friends simply because someone with an agenda might think I'm either Lesbian or was born male and had a fantastic plastic surgeon. (on second thought, nobody is going to mistake me for anything but female...) In any case, I shouldn't have to worry about these things in a polite and free society. If your religious beliefs are such that anything other than a man and a woman having sex within the sacrament of holy matrimony is anathema to you, then please, by all means, practice that, but leave others to their own free will. And if you're going to be so stringent on one aspect of your faith, I challenge you to be as strict about all the rest of it. Are you? I doubt it. Consider that the next time you're oggling a bikini clad woman on the beach or at the car/gun/boat show with or without your wife present, "Gentlemen".
Friday, May 22, 2009
Neglect
Ok, so I started this blog and then abandoned it for almost 6 months. Starting to write in public even behind a handle is, well, intimidating and time consuming. But with a new season on the horizon with it's longer days and better weather, I hope that the malaise of winter will be left far behind, and that the heat will stir my passion to write on the important things in life here and not just with the yentas in private. And so I resolve to put the link for this blog at the top of the list on my bookmarks toolbar and thus be reminded to post more often than every six months.
The Buzz on Booze
What the heck is it with every time I go to a mainstream parents/mom website or pick up a magazine in the doctor's office geared toward moms that I have been finding something random suggesting that 1. It's ok to drink at a playdate, 2. Alcohol is necessary for good mental health, or 3. That the mom who brings booze around all the time is somehow better than the one that brings healthy (organic, minimally processed. etc) choices to functions is more worthy? If it were just one or two of the Adver-zines, that would be one thing, but it's ALL OVER! Is it just me being sensitive, or am I really seeing a trend here? It just seems so antithetical to responsible parenting that I'm continually shocked to read these little asides that seem to be randomly put into health and wellness articles, humor (which mom is more cool comparisons) and survival guides on playdates and pot lucks! Since when did alcohol become appropriate for every occasion?
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Well, ok, maybe it is for now.
Welcome to my new blog. Here you will find news about my kids, my online store, and my views on just about everything. Sometimes it will be funny. Sometimes it will be serious. I don't make any promises to be entertaining or witty, so if you find yourself dissatisfied in that regard, nobody is going to stand you in the corner if you never come back.
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