Check Your Sources

I'm sure that I'm not the only one that has a relative or friend that loves to pass on e-mails that they find funny, amusing, or inspiring... Even when they know that the message is at odds with your worldview. My problem isn't with a conflicting opinion, but with misappropriated or incomplete quotes to lend credence to their argument.

At first I would check to see if something that sounded too good to be true was at my favorite net hoax website. If I found the information to be correctly attributed, the facts straight, and timely, I'd either pass it on if I agreed or otherwise delete. This worked pretty well when I could count the actual people that had my email address on two hands many years ago.

As time went on and more people sent me time wasters, desperate pleas, political propaganda, virus warnings, health advisories, and the like. My contacts list grew as the internet did and so did the amount of junk sent from friends and family. I had to change tactics...

So, then I tried e-mailing the sender politely asking them to check the veracity of the dire warnings, get rich quick schemes, cookie recipes, and political junk(ie)-mail. This had varying results. Some people were offended that I checked their messages for veracity and said I was missing the point of the message. Some shrugged and apologized for the oops. Some, I never heard from about their gaff. But, the same types of things kept coming from the same people, mostly one of my best friends, my father, and my step-dad.

These are three men I really admire even though their personal and political views can be on the opposite end of the spectrum. All three are incredibly intelligent people that can carry on a fact-based conversation on issues across the spectrum of issues. The three of them, though, cannot seem to take the time to check their facts when it comes to email. So, I had to resort to more drastic measures.

I started replying to all.

I figured if private reminders to check out what they're putting their name on didn't work, then maybe a more public reminder would not only embarrass them into being more diligent, but let the unsuspecting other people that received the same junk mail know that it was indeed junk with the accompanying references so that they could check it out for themselves.

This has only worked a little bit.

I only get jokes from my friend now unless it's about an actual issue that can be supported with complete facts, not soundbites or select edits of excerpts.

From my father, well, that's a bit more complicated. He no longer emails me at all. About a year ago when the election season was in full swing, he would send out these very angry political e-mails that not only incorrectly attributed statements to political opponents, but blamed them personally for everything wrong with the world with nothing other than his (since he was passing it on) word to support those claims. The hate, racism, and anger were so palpable in these e-mails it made me physically sick to see that my father had sent me an e-mail. I still start to shake when I think of the vitriol in those letters. What made them even worse, many of them had a religious slant that was totally antithetical to the message of Jesus Christ. After a private letter asking him to stop before the election, he did until the election was over.

When I got a letter at Christmas that was full of the same old religio-political hate spew, I used the reply to all. I got a response from my uncle, M, my father's youngest living brother, wanting to be sure that I knew I sent my rant on how unChristian his Christmas message was. My father seemed oblivious to the inappropriate nature of sending a hateful message that had nothing to do with the holiday just because "Jesus is the reason for the season" was the last line and that since I asked him to forgo the political stuff until after the election, he had held up his end of the request. I wished him a happy holiday and he didn't write back.

My step-dad, well, he means well. He just doesn't check the stuff he sends on. None of it is blanantly offensive, unlike the stuff from the man who raised me. Most of it is a little on the jingoistic side of patriotism, but again, nothing terribly out there. He's a conservative leaning moderate, like I consider myself, though we lean different ways on different issues, which is ok. Basically, he's an old Republican that is disgusted at what the Bush Administration did to our country. I even bookmarked the Snopes website on his computer once so he could verify things himself before passsing on the things his friends and other family members send. And he has no shame, so my replies to all are nothing more than a PSA. Now that they have a new computer, perhaps I should go over and bookmark the site again... Though I don't think it will help.


I love political discourse. When I worked, I would listen to the local NPR news station at varrying times of the day 4-5 days a week for a truly fair and ballanced approach to the issues and news of the day without the name calling and the screaming of the AM dial talk/news radio programs. I will sit here at the computer and debate the merits of something I believe in all day long with sources to back up how I came to my conclusion. I loved seeing the long lines last election day even though I had a three year old and a not quite 12 month old with me in off and on rain for a three hour, half mile long trek from the end of the line to the poling booth. It made me a bit sad to see only the poll workers when I went in to vote in the democratic primary recently given the way my poling place voted in the last general election. I live in the Yeates precinct in case you're wondering.

So, I guess to sum up, if you're going to have your say, say it often, say it loug, but get the facts straight.

I love my family doc

I take my family to see a family practice doctor because I've found that whatever I get, they get too and vice versa, so why not just get it over in one visit for those times when we MUST see someone. I found someone that wouldn't give me grief about my decision not to continue to vaccinate my kids or myself that actually listened to my reasons why, an alarming reaction in my youngest for one of many, that also treated me like someone capable of critical thought, understanding what is going on with my body, and as a partner in health.

The other doc in her practice shouldn't be allowed to treat a goldfish. We saw him for a sick visit when my older daughter had a strange rash on her face and had been acting cranky for over a week with no other symptoms. Instead of using common sense and just telling me it was something relatively benign (Fifth's Disease which wasn't even his dx because she didn't have a fever) he starts lecturing me about how I needed to be sure my kids were vaccinated and that chicken pox could kill my (otherwise healthy) children and was quite adamant at all but shouting me down about it.

So I spent about a month and a half stewing about this jerk. Should I call? Should I write? Should I just find someone else to take my family to? Well, I was in the middle of looking for someone else to take everyone to. The DO down the street was not accepting new patients and was so booked that existing patients had a 2 month wait for routine visits. I was unhappy with the responses I got from the other practices I called to inquire about as they were either so big and busy that I was on hold forever just to ask if they were accepting new patients, they had a strict vax policy, explicitly didn't support VBACs even when attended by an OB, or didn't see children. Then I had this mystery headache. I went from feeling great to clutching my head and bawling. So, when my doc called me back, I told her about how my daughter and I were treated the last time we were seen. Including that I did more in depth research into why certain cases resulted in death since when I had the pox as a kid it was no big deal.

This is why I love my doc. She not only reassured me about my mystery headache and had a course of action if it comes back based on my family history, but agreed with me about chicken pox being a benign self limiting illness and that the vax was not necessary for otherwise healthy children such as mine, that she had the chicken pox too as a kid too, and was confident that if my kids did get pox that I wouldn't be doing anything to put them in one of the risk categories for death. She apologized for the treatment we got and told me that I could specifically request her anytime we had a sick call, but that we might have to wait a while if she was not on for sick visit appointments that day.

I just wish that some of the specialists she refers to were of the same mind in how they treat their patients. One told me that all newborns should be fed hydrolyzed formula over breastmilk to avoid common food allergies as I sat there breastfeeding my cranky eczema covered 14 month old, another didn't have time to finish the procedure I came in for "because I have other patients", but the third, for my foot has been great (but the last one was my suggestion)!

Dr. W, you're tops!

A Message on Hate Crimes

I've heard a bit about hate crimes legislation in Congress and here's what I have to say to those who think that it's not necessary to have "special classes" of people protected and that it violates the concept of equal protection.

What makes a hate crime a hate crime is not that it is assault or murder against a person of a "special class". It is that the crime was committed in order to harass or intimidate members of that "special class" as a whole including the individual victim because of that which makes them different.

It would be one thing if the victim of the crime just happened to be [insert special class here] and the motive for assault or murder were say, financial (mugging), road rage (guy/gal cut you off in traffic), perceived assault (drunk in a bar and someone bumped into you on their way past), etc.

It's quite another thing to actively seek out someone who is of a racial minority or different gender, different sexual orientation, etc (or thier friends and family) to send a political or social message to the larger community that "those" people or their affiliates are not welcome or acceptable in your community.

It's not about protecting individuals or even these "special classes" but protecting the community at large from harassment and intimidation. When you put it in terms of protecting entire communities or our society as a whole from the threat of harassment or intimidation, I don't see how much more equal a protection you could imagine.

As the supportive and accepting sister of an openly gay man, I feel this is important. There may be times my brother irritates the snot out of me and I can see where someone might want to deck him at times, but that has nothing to do with who he is attracted to. Heck, sometimes I wonder if I might be attacked for hanging out with some of my GLBT friends simply because someone with an agenda might think I'm either Lesbian or was born male and had a fantastic plastic surgeon. (on second thought, nobody is going to mistake me for anything but female...) In any case, I shouldn't have to worry about these things in a polite and free society. If your religious beliefs are such that anything other than a man and a woman having sex within the sacrament of holy matrimony is anathema to you, then please, by all means, practice that, but leave others to their own free will. And if you're going to be so stringent on one aspect of your faith, I challenge you to be as strict about all the rest of it. Are you? I doubt it. Consider that the next time you're oggling a bikini clad woman on the beach or at the car/gun/boat show with or without your wife present, "Gentlemen".

Neglect

Ok, so I started this blog and then abandoned it for almost 6 months. Starting to write in public even behind a handle is, well, intimidating and time consuming. But with a new season on the horizon with it's longer days and better weather, I hope that the malaise of winter will be left far behind, and that the heat will stir my passion to write on the important things in life here and not just with the yentas in private. And so I resolve to put the link for this blog at the top of the list on my bookmarks toolbar and thus be reminded to post more often than every six months.

The Buzz on Booze

What the heck is it with every time I go to a mainstream parents/mom website or pick up a magazine in the doctor's office geared toward moms that I have been finding something random suggesting that 1. It's ok to drink at a playdate, 2. Alcohol is necessary for good mental health, or 3. That the mom who brings booze around all the time is somehow better than the one that brings healthy (organic, minimally processed. etc) choices to functions is more worthy? If it were just one or two of the Adver-zines, that would be one thing, but it's ALL OVER! Is it just me being sensitive, or am I really seeing a trend here? It just seems so antithetical to responsible parenting that I'm continually shocked to read these little asides that seem to be randomly put into health and wellness articles, humor (which mom is more cool comparisons) and survival guides on playdates and pot lucks! Since when did alcohol become appropriate for every occasion?